Tension

it like so hurt when u fight wif ur frens or sibling...even relatives....but parent? it more than hurt...

it not like i wanna hurt them....but they not helping me at all....it so hurt that even when i askin them a lil help they dun wanna help....even i said it so important....still my dad dun wanna cooperate at all...my dad dun even say no..juz make sound hmmphhhfff...not ever....i was like...not at all wanna help me..in my assignment final...i wan better mark...n i got exams...so stress....

for my mom...so stress....i know she cant act...but juz a lil hope i wish can get from her...tmrw is mother's day...i really hope she can understand me....i really hope she the one can help me at least...but...she cant even wanna tolerate...i know she too sleepy n tired after went back from my grandma house n my relatives house...but then...i really wish for a lil mins can lend a hand for me...but...all i get fighting n arguing wif her...she not cooperate at all....my heart broken so much...

but i cant say no n quit the assignment...i feel really guilty if i not finish it...i had promise...n there some people waiting for me with a hope to finish it.....now i feel like in the middle of the one thread to crossing to another....so pain...

i hope my mom can cooperate for tmrw...at least get 1 min enuff for me....i wanna cry n shout...even my parent dun wanna help me at last min...wish my mom can be a good actor..i luv her...but..it too hurt that i argued wif her n hurt her....when i know tmrw is the mother's day...cant imagine how guilty i am...but i wanna finish my assignment...T^T

mom forgive me...didnt mean to hurt u....i luv you so much that i appreciate every single things u did n sacrificed for me....thank u...juz this moment..i feel like...u dun wanna help me when i need u...feel like a lil bit piss off.....maybe u juz too tired of me making so much things that put so much weight on ur shoulders....sorry...i juz hope i can do better next time...

"HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOM IN THE WORLD".....

luv ya mom...u ar everything to me....thank u so much for everything....

Power or Lower?

hurmmmm....I said words can hurt people...even hiding words can hurt people too... that y a secret never reveal..once it reveal...the viruses spread easily n hurt other people...

I cant said n express my pains easily...Im too coward n shy to let people knows wat in my heart...maybe through mouth is juz too hard for me....maybe type...writing or keeping is better...

I made blog for confessing the truth inside of me...I want people to read...but I dun mean to hurt anyone...maybe im juz too harsh...for this time...but i tried to protect myself from being bullied over n over again...only them who already had this kind of experiences knows how it feel like...i hate that kind of feeling n situation...the pain of keeping it all by urself...no power to fight it back...alone n lonely...no one can understand truly inside of u...haunted by sorrow n scars...

one of my fren realize that we need to be show off n let people see our abilities...tell others our strong side...let people see how wonderful u are....brag about urself...then only people put their eyes on u...come to u...respect u...but she still doesnt agree wif that...same to me....i still stick wif my opinion...that not all power can give wat u want....even all people know that u cant bring money n power to ur grave...but love? it follow u forever....that y all this time i try to make myself low profile...so that i knew where i came from n never see success things only in my life but learn about failing n never give up also...try to understand n feel the way this life is...follow wat my heart told me...

But...in the same time...I lie to myself...it true that love is the most powerful things in our life...it is good to be less profile....be low as the way u ar....try to be urself n dun fake the things that u do...dun care about those people that feel so high status n see u low...always keep ur strong spirit...u can be like them..no need to show off....

Know wat...it all juz to comfort me by saying that...coz the truth that i see now very hurt me...each days...I saw power is taking place all over the world....everytime u try to be low....someone take an advantages on u....everytime u being low... people step on u...everytime u try to make urself success without show ur negative side...people try to fail u...im not saying this coz im not satisfy it happen to me...but we can see it surround us...it is life nowdays...

Sometime...I always asked myself...shud I need to show off?shud I need to be greater n show wat I can do....shud I take advantages on people also?shud I make those who hurt me feel the same as I am?

NO....the answer still no...from before till now...I admit...Im so hurt but I learn to accept the fact...I still learn to be low...even like I said...this time now..maybe power rules...but...who knows...one day...some miracles will happen...n I never give up on believing it...even every bad things that u do will get repay back...maybe now not ur time...maybe in the future u will see urself so successful without using ur power juz to bully or use people to make ur life better...

I try to be considered to all the things that I do...y I dun wanna be more powerful coz I know no one is so powerful that they can change everything in their life..beside I dun want taking advantages to those who love n respect me and use them for my own good...I luv being low profile as I enjoying my life...Use my power only for the time that I need to....In this case....I try to be low so that I dun wanna hurt anyone that I love around me...they precious to me that they create a new chapter in my life...

"What for using people with ur power as they the one make u go higher...."