Normal day~

today in the morning..i went to english class..usually i dun have class on thursday neither friday...now always have class on friday....urghhhhhhhhhhh hate it... feel like my fun day been cut....ohh well still study so i cant hate it too much...sigh~

my flu n cough still not recover..hardly breath as usual...more worse today...in eng class.....i cant even concentrate on my study..my cough like crazy..n even more worse i didnt have water to make it calm...i forgot to bring some...arghhhhhhh..so embarassing inside the class...always cough....i went to bathroom one time...then wanna go again but gladly it was ok...so i didnt go...but still it sooooooooo embarassing... my fever even getting high a bit in class..maybe coz it morning n the air cond...that y...

well i planned to wash my clothes...so can have some to bring to my aunt house tomorrow..i sleep there tomorrow....eheheheeh....but now..im lazy...i slept this evening...coz of tired n cough also flu....wanna get rid of it..but still havent gone...damn....!! ohh well....i juz bring watever cloth then...aishhhhhhhhhh... feel so tired..tiring n exhausted..this illness getting more unbelievable....~
wish i will recover soon....

eqa enjoy ur day at home...n mun...eheheheh enjoy ur day too...hohoohoh....XD luv ya two....!!

"It seem like I still cant reach it yet...but sooner or later I will for sure..."

As for today

today really like normal day...so bored...juz the lil bit dif is coz of my sis taking her pmr result...she got 3A....my sense is wrong...sigh~ but my cousin got 8A...i was shocked a bit coz...all this time my cousin not so serious in study...but this time..im so proud of her...congrat for her n my sis...

well i went for lunch wif family...round2 a bit in kajang for like how many months i didnt step there...kajang is still like normal town..as usual..nothing change...

my flu n cough sill havent recover yet...grrrrrrrr...so annoying....urghhhhh...
tension...hardly breath....!!!

sleepy..sleepy...sleepy....~

"As time goes by...I still waiting patiently..."

~fever~

oh my...things getting hard now...first flu...then fever...later...well already later mean now....i got cough also...arghhhhhhhhhhh wat could be any worse....

i didnt go to class....so tired...this fever n flu killing me..hardly breath...my nose like stuck....made me exhausted....drink lot water also same...sigh...

well now im waiting for my sister pmr result...ohohohohoho...dunno wat will she get..but i sense she get either 4..5 or 6 As.....but the most i predict she got 5....i dunno...maybe im wrong..or maybe im rite...we will look forward to it..my sis so nervous now....hope she can pass through the day....!!all d best sis...!!

~Still missing some part of me..~

"Am I dumb or creating dumb ...."

question that I keep asking to myself all this time...I tried to forget but it keep hurting me...

I wanna be sumthin that i luv...but wat...i already got it long time ago...but now...i try to destroy it...I know im lazy....I know im a bit slow...I know things keep getting harder than it look...but y still I hesitate to step forward...y n y....??it pain...till i cant endure obstacles that come toward me now..

I remembered once before....I was around 8 years old...that the first time i get to know wat anime is....the first anime that i watched was sailoormon n after that dragonball...i keep continue watching as i luv it so much...till 10 years old i started to draw anime....even though it so ugly n not really good...at least i tried n had confident in myself...even failed...i keep forcing that i cant give up....i miss that moment so much...later on...i became more obsessed wif anime...i watched many other anime....in the same time...it give me hope to do wat i like...i keep on drawing anime till i went to high school....i still drawing..even wanna create my own comic....even i already created the storyline....im so happy....that i can make my own comic...but then...things came harder to me...as i try to draw it like trying to tear me down...but i never loose hope on do wat i like...that time i still not sure wat my ambition is....i wanna be kindergarten teacher...i wanna be doctor...i wanna be police....n also cartoonist....

Till my age reach 15 years old...that time i taking exam which is pmr...after that deciding which course i wanna take when i go to form 4 (16 years old)....i need to decide fast so i can sure wat i really want in my future...so...for long thinking....i decided to take art....as wat i wish for all this time...n luckily....when i went to form 4...my teacher already decided that i joined art class...my name already in the list...im so excited...i learned many new things about art...as i luv it...never even bored or tired of it...even im so lazy from before..still art never vanish from my heart....

unfortunately....when i wanna choose which college or university that i wanna take after my final exam in high school which is spm...while in the process of searching...i take advantages to learn piano n japanese language that i want d most also since before...i became more addicted to those classes...till half way..i stopped my japanese lang for some reason....n stop my piano lesson coz of i already got approved by MMU to study there....im happy i can learn art in MMU...coz that wat i want...but those past one year before i went to MMU...I seldom draw anime....it like i became more lazy as time goes by....but...still i have feeling to draw than nothin at all....better than now..

So hurt that this time....I hardly to move my hand on the paper....i remembered that last i drew complete anime was in january this year...that was veryyyyyyyyyyyy long time ago....as now already december...wanna go to another year....sigh~ that drawing also not 100% complete...still have like 15% more to go...till now i dun even willing to finish it...wat happen to me...am i forgot who i am once before...who i wanna be...n wat d most that i luv...wat the main thing of my future...n wat the most thing make me who i am now....i completely lost in dark...wishing for at least tiny light to bring me back....to make me wake up from this nonsense n sensitive feeling of mine....i wanna be me back who will never give up till the end....easily stand up when fail....sadly...if that juz can be fix n be true....i do draw...but most of it for my assignments...not from my heart....is that really wat i want all this time....i wish i can turn back that to that happy, exciting,spirit,confident n smiling memories of the time when i draw....plz bring me back my life...plz wake up n realize now kay...!! be urself...not the fake u....U is U...no one can change that..

"This hand waiting for the time where the light will dance together once again with tears watching from the hidden part...."

~Hurt~

long time again i didnt update blog...i use to write sumthin in here when i feel sad mostly...i wanna express all my feelings...even i know some i still cant let it out...

i dunno y...lately i feel so lonely...it hurt...i had many frens that make me enjoy the day...but

unfortunately...still sumthin missing inside me...i like a heartless person...sumtime i juz wanna be alone n drawing all d time...but now i cant even move my hand to draw...it so terrible...i scare i might hard to draw again like usual...it like i forgot who i am n wat i wanna be....it pain that i almost lost n forgot my ambition n my dreams....pathetic i cant even focus in sumthin that i luv anymore...

it more hurt when i tried to be exist in front of all...but at the end...i was d last n lower one...as usual...i miss myself the one before....i used to be stronger n confident kid...but when i started went to high school i became so weak..always get bullied by others...always be pushed away...when i nearly show my light side n begin to be in front of people eyes....but then dark side came to me...i always be the one who alone....i had frens in high school..i do luv them..care n really appreciate wat they did to me....starting from form 1...i became useless....im so weak...always get bullied...always be people tool to get wat they want....(plz dun be mad at me...juz for some people...not all...i didnt blame whoever that respect me..)

i feel like a coward..i cant even fight back...cant even say back wat i want...maybe coz i care so much...that i dun wan hurt them...but do they care for me if im hurt...? i juz wan them to understand...i have feeling so was they...if i respect n care for them y not they..i didnt ask to be luv or care as a princess...i juz wan to be understand sincerely....respect me for who i am...n see me as ur real fren....i know im not perfect....so do u....i have my weak part...n disadvantages...so to u.....i wish i juz can be somethin u can hold on...or a bit exist to u....it really hurt...

"People understand outside but not inside...People do forgive but they never forget..."

Long Long time...~

for long time..i didnt update my blog...actually...i dunno wat to write..coz im the type of person who a bit lazy to type sumthin long...sigh~

ohhh well...only wanna say that i cant wait to go to CF...Comic Fiesta this december...wait for me...XD

lazy to go to class tomorrow..but gladly only 2 hours and start at 11 am...ehehehhe...~

Ukiss concert (19 June 2010)

I feel so happy that I went to ukiss concert that day...I feel so lucky...how many obstacles came to me juz bcoz of this concert...but not even once I wanna give up...I dunno y...all this time..Im the type of person who like someone... I mean like artists or actor...band or watever...I juz like them only for short time...I still like them..but I not obsessed or addicted with them..same with Ukiss..that the only thing im so weird about...I was like crazy wanna go to the concert so much...no matter wat happen...challenges...that facing me...I still wanna go before the concert...I dunno wat so special about Ukiss that they is the FIRST concert and FIRST band that I gave my all for them...this is so unbelievable for me...but then...I feel really grateful and touched...after I went to that concert that day...they so cute and funny...they are frenly...tall and handsome...and of course my main point is KEVIN...maybe I went there coz of kevin..but still it so weird for me to like someone that much...urghhhhhhhhh....

At the concert...I choose vampire seat which is the lowest among others....well...Im not that rich to buy VIP seat...eventhough I want it so much...but still I love it....the concert was awesome...the preparation on the stage was so cool..Ukiss perform so amazing and fantastic...so many type of light...till it hurt my eyes....even the light so pretty...(>.<)...they dance very

well..full of spirit..the funniest thing is...they are happy and frenly ..especially for soohyun...so energetic and hyper up....urghhh from the concert started till ending...he never or not even one

time tired or relax...always noisy and playing...eli also the same...playing wif soohyun..they really

attract the fans...while dongho so quiet...ki bum and kiseop juz normal...alexander and kevin talk

much...coz...urmmm they can speak english well then...that y...ahahhaha...but they really cute.....

especially my kevin..nyahahahha...

Only one thing im not satisfied with...arghhhhhhhh the guards that guarding ukiss was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo *tut* *tut*...they was like...*tut*...so annoying and

disturbing...urghhhhh so ugly that they think they ar so handsome..!! hello...??!! wat so handsome about u if there UKISS...who was 10000000x MORE HANDSOME than them

*tut*....ohh plz..if their attitude so nice and kind I still can accept it..but they was like damn *tut*

pushing..pulling the fans hand...shoo the fans...and grab the fans hand so hard..and RUDE...i know it the rule..they must keep ukiss from being attack by fangirl....heyyy guards...wat about if u be the fangirls and I push U till u fall of the stage...will U...STILL..be smiling after that??!! a

r u that nut so damn *tut* didnt realize that the fans many of them was GIRLS...*tut* the

guards...so rude and dumb...gladly im still ok..coz u not pushing me..if u push me...100% u will be in ur hell...!! damn u guards...!! and im so not happy with the management...so like down..!! they so rush....i know ukiss tired but then...juz this time the fan wanna meet them...especially for the vampire..knight and ace seat..they cant get original signature..only got printed..but then...u

promised us that we can get album from them and can give gifts to them face to face on the

stage...now u was like so *tut* dang dang *tut* that u asked us to move fastly..and cant even

give the present in the stage...are u that *tut*...dun be ridiculous...if i have power..i already make u suffer from breaking promised...!! now how can the fans trust ur management ...u *tut*....have the fans crying so hard..even stalker them to give them the present that U...PROMISED...that

we can give it on stage...and u dun even give us shake hand wif them...!! i accept it they tired...but at least y cant give us shake hand wif one of the members that we love..even one at least we already satisfied with...*tut* u...urghhhh im so hate breaking promised...and u dun even settle the problems that happen...so messy on the stage...ur management s***!! that wat i wanna say all about u...Im not that cruel..so yell and mad at ur management like this..but then...u the one make us like this...poor us..we ar human too..wat if u in our place...imagine..ukiss come here

for the first time...and they so excited to meet their fan for the first time...!! y u stop them...!?

they even smile so happily on stage...talking..and interacting..and u stop them half

way..especially that damn *tut* emcee...stupid one...I so dun like him..at first time..I still accept him..now he so selfish and *tut*...!! hey emcee...u so "DIAO" de...!! se jing bing..!! yuckkk dun even handsome and so short..dun brag that u so cool la haiya...!!body not even nice like ukiss..such a SHOW OFF...!! damn U man..!!poor ukiss...i really hate only that things...!! they

dun even think...when again they will come to malaysia...ukiss promised they will come..but im not that DUMMY dunno how long they will come back...need to wait their next album not that short time...u *tut*...so y dun juz let the fans have nice day wif them...now not only terrible day for the fans..but horrible and s***!!!urghhh...and also wat if ukiss come and that time the fans cant come to their 2nd concert..I know u will say..."so wat!?We dun care..that ur problem cant

come..so u will miss the great day..." HOIII..listen here *tut*....if u the fans...and im the one

saying this to u...wat do u feel..ar u not human saying those thing...poor them la...!! they dun

even have chance..not all fans free and rich u *tut*...WT"_"!!! now...i will try to accept those past..but i will see ur next management...if u still make the same situation...sadly for u...maybe...not many fans will come..even though they come..must be they will do a bit revenge....fans not that weak..they stubborn..how many times u stop them..they still will follow

their fav band...stalker...!!

fuhhhhhhhhhhhhh...so happy can release all the tension and stress coz of that concert....!! lastly....im happy at least that I finally meet them after suffering so much and wasting so much money juz for them...KEVIN hwaiting...no mater wat...i will support u...!! all the best in

everything that u do..^0^

Here some pics at the concert...^0^ so happy...: -

~After the CALM,always come the STORM~

Now was my holiday break for semester 1 of my Uni...holiday juz for 2 weeks...but at least can make me happy..coz i can spend my times wif my family...even every weeks i go back to my home when study season...one week before the holiday,I was like...plz make the time fast..so i can feel the holiday freshness...but now...I know y my feeling keep hesitate me from thinking about holiday...

Coz...my holiday now like...i live in darkness...not even for one...i feel happy...

My heart break into pieces...I was like so excited and too much happy that i can go to the concert of my fav band..but...once i got home...after 3 days at home...my mom telling me that...sumthing really make my entire body stop...it was like so hard to accept...my mom said that i cant get PTPTN loan...which the only thing that can support my study for now...without that..it so hard for me to continue paying the fee for my Uni..

I dunno wat to say anymore..it so hard till i cant even explain or show it how my heart feel rite now...that time..i was like so selfish and dumb...askin my mom to gimme money so i can go shopping...but after knowing the fact i dun even get money to buy things..dun have money to pay my study fee..dun have money to pay hostel fee..and dun even have money to support my life in Uni....I understand how much i so far different than my frens in my Uni..they all so rich..even have some not so rich but at least their parents can support them...not like me...

It all started wif my own mistake...iI was late to apply for the PTPTN loan..i know..im dumb...slow and weak..cant even be mature and independent..always hope for someone lend me their hand....it so hurt that i knew it all my fault this thing come to critical time...even my parent fight juz bcoz of that PTPTN...I was like...wanna say sumthin..wanna ask sumthin..and wanna help if i can...but at the end..it juz like...I juz watching my parent suffering...how useless i am as a daughter....I feel hurt...juz bcoz of my fault..my parent must take all the risk and suffering..also sacrificing many things..JUZ BCOZ OF ME...it so pain...i dun even can settle the things...i juz like child who still like 10 years younger...cant do anythin....I feel so alone and empty...and this suffering..pain and hurt inside my heart became more bigger that i cant handle it anymore..i feel like...pray to GOD that plz lemme be the one suffering..not my parent...i can take all the blame..but plz dun hurt and make my parent in such way...im begging...i know this is challenges and obstacles in life that ALLAH gave to me...but..this scar juz getting more deeper..I feel like so useless..y cant i do everything by myself...till now...i feel like i lost in the dark place...that i hope someone bring the light of hope that can change me to someone that can make everyone proud of...but who and when...i juz cant let myself juz watch my parent like this...my mom and dad like so silent..dun wanna talk much like before...to each others...it hurt my feeling so much...JUZ BCOZ OF ME AGAIN...from baby..till now...how more pain must i give to them...how much more need they receive it....I cant endure my feeling now..i pretend happy and smiling..it was so fake...everytime i walk and talk to them...but my heart was like...no feeling...i want them to be like usual back..i begging and pray to ALLAH...please gimme the PTPTN loan..so i can change my parent face....i want them like the way they are...i still wanna achieve my dreams....i want to study...i want to smile and having fun wif my frens at my Uni...i want to make my parent proud of me...i want to make them happy by give them all the best from me....juz one thing i want now..juz PTPTN loan...plzzz..plzz and please......juz now i dun wan to think anything else juz this PTPTN loan...i nearly wanna give up..till got one time i wanna quit my Uni...i dun wanna study..i juz wanna work and help my parent...so i dun give them more suffering time... but i know...this is wat my parent want..they wan to see me success in my life...so i will not give up now..even for my future...till forever..i will try my best even sacrificing myself..juz to see my parent happiness...juz for them...for my family...and frens...forgive me...for nearly give up...i will give my best...coz i know...THE ONE WHO WILL NOT GIVE UP TO THE END WAS THE ONE WHO WILL GAIN HAPPINESS IN THEIR LIFE....i will face this challenges...i will not give up if i not try it yet....PTPTN..i wish so much..if only u can hear me..if only u can see me...if only u can read this....plz gimme chance to prove that i can do it in my life...gimme that chance to change every single mistakes that i have done...please....i dun wanna walk in empty and dark space again..no more...no more...!!

~True Tears~

woohoooooooooooooo..all my hardwork already paid....weeeeeeeeee~ im so happy and excited that i got already the redemption letter from geneses company....that letter prove that i already bought the ticket so I can go to the concert........warghhhhhhhhhhhh I feel like crying..this is so AWESOME...I suffered and sad for long time juz to get this...FINALLY....I gain what I want..thank u so much ALLAH..coz giving me such happiness in my life...at least now i know..i can be independent..even for lil bit..at least i tried my best to achieve wat i want...UKISS wait for me..i will 100% go there..weeeeeeeee kevin...~ I hope i will enjoy the concert and so on...hope nothin bad happen that can stop me from meeting them...sigh~ thanks again for everything...thanks to wan masyitah for company me again and again....muahxxxxxxxxxxxx syg ko wan..!!

~No one know~

I dunno y...lately..my heart feel really hurt...I dunno wat wrong...it like..i suddenly feel empty inside...I gave all my best...but at the end..it still the same..im tired doin sumthing that i already know the answer...but i was like so dumb...that i still let my heart to be hurt....

honestly...many times i said i wanna give up..but still i dun..coz i know..only those who will never give up till the end will gain happiness in their life...juz..i really feel like wanna give up now...dun u feel like that too? when sumthing that u tried really hard for it...sacrifice sumthing for it...but at the end...nothing happen...more badly...it give u more heart broken...even u say u will not give up till the end...deep inside ur heart..will u honestly say that u never ever think of giving up? that wat i feel all this time...and im tired of it...

These days...I gain so many happiness..but that happiness come wif so many challenges to get it...i tried my best...to achieve my own happiness..but...i realize...everytime i feel like dummy person...who always wanna try to attract things or someone..that dun even realize my exist in front of them...im tired getting hurt...im tired receive pain...im tired to get more scars...till now...i wish there was someone will comfort me...but i know..this is life...wat i wan is not impossible but hard to get...

now...even for lil things i can cry so hard...but before..i was so tough and confident when doin sumthin...but now...i was like..low..slow..sad...weak person...feel like..i dun wanna do anythin..juz wanna sit at one corner...and juz wif my imagination and fantasy world...who was always comfort me alone..when i feel upset....

no matter wat..I still try to be me...even I not mature...so wat!!?? I AM WHO I AM...who dun like me as who i am...so...GET OUT OF MY WAY..!! no one ask u to accept me and pretend to be good to me if ur heart was FAKE....!! for me...I will love peoples who appreciate the way I am as I appreciate and respect them for the way the are...is it not right??

~Light come to me~

I dunno how to describe my feelings now..it so happy...excited..shocked and a bit nervous... I feel so grateful that this year many happiness came to me...im so touched....

Finally,i can go to the concert that I want all this time..and I will not regret that I already bought the ticket...im so excited to go....but I know..."AFTER THE CALM...ALWAYS COME THE STORM"....so I dun wan to be more excited to the things that 50/50 sure...I really happy but i dun wan my happiness change to sadness...so I will try to calm down and settle the things slowly...I definitely will go to the concert..thanks a lot to my fren WAN MASYITAH...I really appreciate it so much that u will company me to go there...thank u very much...!! I really mean it....how lucky I am...

Sigh~ all i need to do now before the concert..is try my best in my final exam..I wish..my marks will be okay...im scare and so nervous...this is my first time exam in university....(>.<) and of course need to settle down my final assignments...warghhhhhhhhhhhh...so many assignment...!!

Wish i can face all the obstacles that come to me...I hope ...I will never give up till i try it...!!

YOSHHHHHHHHHHHHH...!!!!!! GANBATTE KAY...!!

Btw,SUJU new song is AWESOME...the dance so COOL...I get addicted to the song...but i still stick to mworago...ohohohoh...!! nice job suju...till now..all ur songs is great...!!

~Complicated Times~

aishhhhhhh...such a bad situation happen to me...these days...all went wrong...I thought this week gonna be best week coz dun have many class to attend..only two classes for this week...im so happy about it...but then...I feel so tension and stress coz of final assignments that I need to submit...I was like so lazy to do my MLA journal for media appreciation...i didnt sleep at all yesterday till now...so tired and exhausted...I know that it was my own fault coz not do it earlier..but then...well humans...have many feelings..so, I cant throw away my lazy feeling...lol...

Then while I trying to finish the MLA journal..someone disturb me...I not feel annoying when that person disturb me..juz im angry and really burn out...already to my limit...!! I cant stand it anymore...I really wanna help..but my help was like so hopeless...like no point at all...wat I said..didnt be accepted by that person..that person said he do...but I know the person dun..but wat more can I help...that person so stubborn...cant accept the fact...he said he do understand..but I still can see that person dun..!! im tired that i was like stone...my advices all for nothing...and that person dun even think about my situation..im so busy wif my assignment..im so moody,tension and stress that time..but then that person dun even understand my feeling..suddenly mad and angry wif me without any proper reasons...for all my help and things that I said to that person...was like nothing..im tired...that person dun even appreciate me..suddenly said dun wanna talk wif me anymore...but inside of me..that person already honestly cause me many troubles..but y...y I still listen to all that person problems..I dun even care that person disturb me..but by him..so easily wanna mad and ignore me like that...AM I LIKE PIECE OF TRASH TO U..??!! easily thrown away....if u really think me like that...no point I keep helping u...i was like nothing...im nothing....im so pissed off and angry...did u realize that??!! did u realize how I feel from before till now to U?! but y still i care about U....U dun even think and take care of other peoples heart...HONESTLY...im really sick of it...I feel so tiring and exhausted...now i dun care anymore...do wat u want...u treat me like this... I also have nothing to say anymore...nothing..!!

~Still About the Concert~

sigh~ this time i really made my decision..i really wanna go no matter wat...i feel so upset and depressed for many days...so sad that i scare i will miss it...
BUT...gladly..luckily...finally...got someone who can company me to the concert...thank u so much to WAN MASYITAH...i luv ya so much....!! thankies for company me...at least i got someone who can come wif me..made me so happy..juz now i only scare about how to buy the ticket..or maybe the ticket finish sold...(T^T) ohh plz no..gimme more hope...i really wanna go..i already found someone...plz..plz..and plz....i wish no more obstacles come....aishhhh....~

~Maybe Deep Inside My Heart~

yeah...maybe deep inside my heart..i still cant lie..that i still care about the concert..no matter how hard i try to erase it..and ignore or avoid it...i still wanna go to the concert...it pain and hurt..but i know..that is wat i want...y should i give up...even it take me to go alone...I WILL..!! no matter how many obstacles come to me..challenges come to me...hard time come to me..i STILL will go...if that wat i want..if that wat im waiting for..is that one of my dream...i will achieve it..even it take me to sacrifice sumthin...i will NEVER give up...if i give up now..how can i continue to achieve my future? i will not give up if im not try it yet...so..i wanna think more mature even peoples see me like childish person..so wat...if that my true person deep inside me..if THAT is ME...y should i change it..maybe my attitude or somewat need to change a bit..but not overall...so i will stick to my motto...i juz wanna be ME...only ME..only me can change ME...i still keep my motto till now that "TRUST YOUR HEART..IF U DUN TRUST UR HEART..HOW CAN U TRUST OTHER PEOPLES AND THE THINGS THAT U DO? U IS U...ONLY U CAN DECIDE UR ACTION NEXT.."

so..i still will go to he concert....weeeeeeeeeeee~ kevin oppa...wait for me..!!

"Only those who will never give up till the end is the one who will gain happiness in their life..."

~Light change to Tears~

I dunno how to describe my feeling now..it like so hurt...upset...I dunno wat to do...

My heart so to my soul...feel so damn excited and happy...maybe all my life..maybe for this year...and maybe for now..and for next month...that I feel so happy...I appreciate that this year so much happiness came to my life...I went to MMU..I met new sweet and so nice frens...many good things came to me..even many hard times and challenges came to me..but at least I can face it wif confidently...even got many times I nearly wanna give up...but I really wanna say thanks to all who support me all this times..everytime I wanna give up...my family and frens come to my mind...I appreciate it so much..i really mean it..thankies...~

2 months ago...I got special news that shocked me...I feel so excited...feel like wanna shout all my might...that my fav band from korean wanna come to malaysia...i thought it was juz a gossip or not very sure yet...but then..few weeks ago...it really...REALLY come true..they really wanna come here...my heart was like...OMG...is there can be any fantastic and wonderful than this news to me? I already wait for so long..that I wish...maybe at least...at least and at least one time..I wan any of my fav bands come to malaysia...and it really come true..last month..i dunno the exact date for it..my fav band super junior came here but then I cant go..coz it so expensive...and i was too late..plus suju have so many fans....so i already missed that one...that I really dun wanna miss this one..coming on 19 june...next month..ohh please..my heart already burst out...even the ticket is expensive..I dun think it so expensive for international band..it is but not so much..it quiet okay..I tried all i have to save money...but not like I dun eat anythin to save money...im so excited..that I can buy the ticket...but then...I juz need to wait for my cousin...I really need someone to company me...it feel a bit dangerous to go alone...even need to be independent but this is new era...now many problems..incidents...happen...so I really need someone at least to company me..unfortunately..my cousin can come..juz dun have money to buy the ticket..if I...IF I...rich...i already buy ticket for him..IF I...but unluckily only me can buy the ticket..so..I dunno..if my cousin can go or not...

My heart broke into pieces..i feel like wanna cry..I cant force my cousin to go..i cant force his mom to give him money...I wanna say thank u so much to his mom coz already gave green light but not money..I know..I really cant force peoples...I feel so hurt that everyone made me feel like dun go to the concert...juz waste money...the money can buy foods..or buy sumthin more necessary for u...but then...I juz feel like wanna ask them question back...."IS IT WRONG FOR ME...IS IT WRONG FOR ME...FOR AT LEAST...AND AT LEAST..TO RECEIVE HAPPINESS...EVEN FOR LIL BIT...IN MY LIFE..AT LEAST...FOR NOW...CAN U GIMME CHANCE..AT LEAST...FOR ONCE...IN MY LIFE..THAT I CAN FEEL THE HAPPINESS...EVEN FOR LIL...IS IT THAT TERRIBLE TO GAIN A LIL BIT HAPPINESS THAT CAN MAKE U SMILE AT LEAST AFTER U FEEL THE PAIN..IS IT THAT HARD?!"

I dun mad and angry at peoples who said that to me...they really say wat the truth...i didnt blame them..wat they said is true..but I juz wan them understand...if...IF this is my chance to go to concert..I never been to any concerts before..and IF this is my chance to grow up..be mature and independent by go to concert with my frens or someone and not my family..and IF this is my chance to learn how to pay by myself the ticket fee..is it that horrible?...If this experiences that I can get..is it wrong for me?is it wrong?IF peoples have sumthin that they love..they wan..and important to them...can I ask U...U dun wanna try ur best to get it?to achieve it?All peoples have their own dreams..IF this is one of my dreams...is it wrong for me to achieve it?is it wrong?is it?

Fever worse..!!

warghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...for two days im not coming to class coz of fever..!! sigh~
In the same time im trying to finish my assignment final project...soooooooooooo tired and exhausted...still have 40% more to finish...my head so dizzy...my body hurt...flu and cough...arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...!!!!!!!!!!!! hope i can finish it...ohhh plz gimme energy to finish it..at least for this final project..at least....(T^T)

Getting Addicted...!!

I juz realize that im getting addicted to Ukiss new song...ohh my..their new comeback so hot hot hot..!!they are so cute...first time I heard the song..it was like kinda normal..then I getting more obsessed with it..the dance steps sooooooooooooo nice...I need to admit it that I love KEVIN much much more now..he so adorable and cute...can't wait for this 19 JUNE..definitely and absolutely i will go..100% to the concert..wooohooooooooo..juz wait KEVIN oppa..(err actullay not oppa..but i hate to admit that I was older 5 DAYS...only 5 DAYS than kevin..I dun wan to admit that im older though than him..ahahhaha)...weeeeeeeeee~

I also getting addicted to 2PM without U new song...they are handsome...juz I dunno y...maybe it a trend now..but then...this 2PM guys luv to take off their cloth during the performance..LOL... but I LUV it...ohohohohoho...ehhhemmm ehemmmm..im not horny...but ohh well...im a girl...they also hot then...~

New to this blogger...

I'm new to this blogger..so i kinda blur..and dunno wat to do..but i saw many of my friends have blogger..made me wanna try it..I thought this blogger a bit easy to handle..but then..LOL...i dun understand half of it...juz clicked..and do watever i want..nyahahhaha~ at least I tried sumthin new in my life..it kinda fun..but I will do my best to make my blogger looks nice...and update always..If I have any mistakes..please tell me...